Song Saturday: Say Something

19 Apr

Say something, I’m giving up on you
I’ll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere I would’ve followed you
Say something, I’m giving up on you

Does the Three Day Rule Still Exist in Your 30s?

17 Apr

A few nights ago I went out on a date. And for the first time, I really liked the guy after the first date. I mean, I actually texted him once I got home to tell him how much I enjoyed the date. In my book that means I really had fun. He texted, said he wanted to see me again soon, but never set a date. So me being me, started to worry….

The next day, I didn’t hear from him, so I posted the following on Facebook: “Does the three day rule still exist in our 30s?” I had a feeling this would elicit a myriad of responses and it did! I captured them in three buckets: Helpful, Touching, and Comical. I also redacted details and contact information. Basically the consensus is the same –if a person wants to see you, he (or she) will make the effort. And no, the three day rule should not apply. What are your thoughts? Anything my friends missed?

Helpful

  • No rules anymore I’m afraid. However, the good thing is you can call. Bold.
  • Good things come to those who wait; things worthwhile are worth waiting for; if it’s meant to be it will happen…insert any other cliches here!!
  • I met BOY and left 2 days later for vacation for a week. Told him I would call him when I got back – so we didn’t speak until I came home. And I did call him when I got back. AND he cancelled our first real date because he was sick. I have never been happier. Wait or call him. Do what makes you happy and what you want someone to do for you. Loves. Xoxo (Oh should specify – after the 1st cancelled date we went out the following day and were/are inseparable.)
  • Every situation and person is different… I have total faith whatever happens is what is meant to happen.
  • I think if you want to talk to someone, you call them. If someone wants to talk to you, they call you. Simple. Try to relax and not overthink it. “Rules” are silly.What’s all this about phone calls? It’s all about the more personal methods like text, email, or FB these days… (Joking…)
  • No 3-day rule no call, you are still a child. Next!!!! Move on, you deserve much better. If you haven’t called I am wondering why it’s on him to make the call. Just curious.
  • Some days life gets busy and calls get forgotten, or it gets too late in the night, or you’re unsure if they want you to call, etc., etc. so in the end whoever wants to make the call should just make the call and see what happens, for all you know he’s waiting on you to call and wondering the exact same thing.

Touching

  • Based on the fact that I’ve been with the same girl for 20 years means I am completely out of touch and have no game. That said what’s changed since the mid 90′s? Nothing right?
  • I met this girl a long time ago. We hit it off immediately and hung out the entire night. At the end of the night I asked for her number. She said, no, let me get yours. At that point I thought I’d never hear from her again. She called the very next day and we went out on our first date that evening! We were inseparable from then on, and are still together, happily married to this day!
  • In my situation there were ZERO phone calls- we met and the next day he knocked on my door. It will be 16 years next month. It should be easy, effortless almost. That mutual feeling of just wanting to be with each other as much as possible.

Comical

  • Guys will always be guys. 3 day rule always applies. Have to keep em guessing!!
  • What’s the 3 day rule?
  • I was not single in my 30s but I would probably check in to make sure the girl got home alright the next morning. Or I would take her out to breakfast and talk about our future together.
  • Sorry – the 3 day rule exists at every age (I agree it’s dumb!). And HE should call YOU first… or at least call you back. lol!!
  • No, it does not. By the time we are in our 30s, a man is usually mature enough to avoid stupid games.

Interesting comments, right? My friends are actually incredibly intelligent and awesome. And the best, they come from all different walks of life!

OH – you may be wondering if he contacted me. We have our second date on Saturday – dinner and a comedy show. And he didn’t wait the full three days to contact me or ask me out. J Maybe he doesn’t know about the three-day rule himself… Hmmmm…
Stay tuned!

Introduction: Low Key Dude

15 Apr

OK, OK, so anyone who knows me in real life, knows I am anything BUT low key most of the time. The words “calm”, “carefree”, and “low key” are not descriptors of me.  Which is why I think I was so attracted and interested in Low Key Dude.  It is also no surprise to anyone who knows me that, I date men online.  Which is where I met Low Key Dude (LKD for short, K!)

So I met him on eHarmomy a little more than a year ago. He texted, he called, he actually asked me out. Gasp – via a call and not a text (to understand my feelings on texting, read here!) He called me that night – grant it, I was already on my way to meet him – to confirm our date. He waited for me outside the restaurant.  We ordered a few apps. We talked for a couple of hours (which is how I handle most dates.)

And when it was all said and done, I came to one conclusion, he was an overall nice guy. No complaints. And I decided if he asked, I would go out with him again.

He did…and I did.  And we had fun. I can’t exactly remember what we did (which should probably indicate one or two things), but we had a nice time (note just “nice.) And then we went out again.  It became apparent that we were starting date.

And then some red flags hit.  He stopped trying to impress me after date three or four (goes to a clothing issue – again, feel free to call me narcissistic, but I think you should put some effort in impressing a new gal for a bit) and then he pushed for a title. Can you believe it? HE pushed for a title/definition of what we were. Now, I don’t want to stereotype, but I am a firm believe in what will be, will be.  And no one should push it.  And the guy pushed it – which never happens to me. Maybe it happens to other women? If so, please comment, I’d love to read about your experiences.

But long story short, we did eventually put a title on it and it never felt natural to me.  I’ll go into details about him and that situation in further blogs.  Like I said LKD was a super nice dude, but I think I/he/we tried to forcefit something that wasn’t natural. And that never works out. Ever. LIKE NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS.

Have you or a significant other ever tried to forcefit something? Push something that just wasn’t right? If so, please share.  I can always learn.

Video

Zedd – Stay the Night

12 Apr

I could never say this to you, but this is how I felt about us….I just wish you let me talk to you.

He Didn’t Own Pants?

10 Apr

Caught with pants downSo it’s been two years. And I didn’t realize it was that long. I was in a dark(ish) place back then. I was using this blog as a place to vent and be a b!tch. I hated that. Since then, I’ve dated several men and fell for two. I’ll go into details about both in later blog, but quickly:

 

  • Low Key dude – he was awesome. He owned his own business, his own house, but not his own suit. Or pants for that matter. Well he owned jeans. Dirty jeans and shorts. I’m sorry – call it narcissistic, but I think any man in his mid-30s should own slacks and at least one suite. He fought me on it when we were supposed to go to a wedding together. Needless to say, we never made it to said wedding.
  • Surfer dude – complete opposite of low key dude in sooo many ways. He was polished, incredibly intelligent, and we had an amazing connection. Like ah-ma-zing. Like “WHOA, did you just feel that?” kind of connection. We were friends, which turned into benefits, which turned into both of us freaking out on one another for no good reason. Basically as awesome as he was, he brought unnecessary drama into my life. I adored him and we had that “thing” on so many levels that doesn’t come around often. But for some reason, we couldn’t make that connection last. Sadly, he always thought the worst of me. And that broke my heart.

So if one broke my heart and one didn’t own a suit for a wedding, can you guess who I stayed with longer? Who was my long-term boyfriend and who was short-term?
(I’m sure you have an idea….not saying it’s right or I’m right, but this is my journey. Welcome aboard!) I’ll discuss more in further entries. And I do hope you share your stories along the way!

Getting Back into “The Game”

8 Apr

Well folks, has it been two years since I last posted?  TWO YEARS?  Insanity, but a necessity.  A lot has happened since then – friends got married, friends had babies, folks moved, and I, well…I stayed the same. Mostly.

I have to admit, the last two years were interesting.  In many respects. I traveled a bit more, started a job I love (and this is the first time in many years where I can say I am challenged daily and like it!), and found my happiness. With me. I stopped looking for people and events to make me happy and instead, just followed what made me happy.

Last year I dated someone seriously. Fell for someone seriously. And they were two different people. ;) One broke my heart, one just faded away. You wouldn’t believe which one was which. I also got curious and looked up old boyfriends, to find…well, nothing. And I guess that is the universe trying to tell me something.

So where does that leave me? I grapple back and forth with whether or not a lot has changed. In many respects, life stayed the same and in many others, life completely turned topsy turvy. Biggest thing – I came to peace with me. With who I am. With my faults AND my charms (oftentimes I forgot I had any.) And I embraced them. I date, I work, I travel more, I cook more, created a small garden on my deck in the summer, I read a larger variety of books, and I relax as much as I can. I guess you can say I’m in the same place I was two years ago…only happier. More content. More at peace.

With all of this, comes a new found outlook on this blog. Still rants, still a little bit of a raving lunatic, but a more complete “me.” I need to do some updating, I need to look at my blog roll. I need talk about my happiness more. Because in the end, that is what I found. In me. In my friends. In my past, my present, and as I look toward my future. Hope you’ll join me from time to time during this roller coaster, I call my life.

at-peace-rocks

Thank you and goodbye

20 Feb

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for some time now.  And I finally just started writing it, which means, this is probably the best time to do it….

This blog has been cathartic, a place for me to rant and rave, and discuss my love life (or lack thereof….) But it has also been a place to vent and complain and try and get some of the negativity out of my life.

And some times it worked, and at other times, it didn’t. And I would read it back over and wondered “who was that raving lunatic complaining about the world?” Of course I knew it was me, but I didn’t like what I became. The blog was supposed to fun and a place where people could discuss their dating lives and help me along the way. Sometimes I just felt worse after writing a post.  Never a good thing…

For a long time this blog met its purpose of letting all disucss their experiences. But, then it turned into a sounding board for me – and me only. A whining board, really. I didn’t like what I turned it into.  So for the last time, let me give you an update on where I stand:

  • I am taking a break from dating. I took myself off the dating sites I was on because they turned into a crutch for me. And I would let myself get down on myself. It stopped being fun.
  • I am focusing on creating a balanced life. Work is good – but it’s not overtaking the rest of my world like it used.  Or well, like I let it overtake…
  • I am heading to LA later this week, for what should be an amazing (albeit, short) vacation to see some friends and do some exciting new things.  Once in a lifetime new things.
  • I am planning trips to Nantucket, Miami, Detroit (for a baby), and possibly Denver (for a wedding) – all between May - September. Insane, I know. But you only live once. I just hope for said wedding, I have a +one to bring with me.
  • I realized I am one lucky duck for having a great life – one that I both created and fell into all at the same time.

So, long story short. Thank you for the last few years of hearing my rant and rave and letting me act like a crazy lunatic. I met a lot of great peope along the way and I learned a lot of valuable lessons as well.  Some of you, I no longer speak to, and as much as that sucks, I thank you for being in my life and teaching me things about me that I never thought I could or would want to learn. And I’m not necessarily referencing the men I used to date. :)

This has been a great experience. But like all good things, this too, shall come to an end.  I wish everyone who has read this blog, even just once, a very happy life. You have enriched mine.  Maybe one day I’ll return, but for now, thank you and goodbye.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.