Why Didn’t You Write Back?

20 Oct

After all you winked at me first! Or initiated the communication. Or whatever it is that you did.

This is a conversation I have had with several friends who do the online dating thing – yes, I am notorious for it. I have done Match.com and eHarmony for several years (I have yet to bring myself to JDate, but I have heard promising stories.) And it is fun – I must admit. I guess that is why I keep doing it.

Anyway, my friends and I are always baffled by the way men originate communication with us and then WHAM – just stop.  How do you do that? How do you wink or email a few times to just stop doing it all of the sudden? What is so repulsive about me today that you had to stop communicating when you initiated it in the first place?

I need someone to explain it to me. Maybe a man needs to – because I’d like some insight into the male psyche ASAP. Maybe then I’ll be successful with this whole dating thing.


6 Responses to “Why Didn’t You Write Back?”

  1. jolene1079 October 20, 2009 at 6:28 pm #

    I’d LOVE to hear thoughts on this too – lol – I HATE THAT!

    • Mel October 20, 2009 at 8:36 pm #

      We just need to find someone who will ACTUALLY answer these questions….

  2. Snark B October 21, 2009 at 11:51 am #

    Even though I’m male, I’m not sure I can help with the male psyche. Maybe the guys who contact you are the playas who have too many woman on the line? It would make sense that more women would hear from them, because they’re indiscriminately casting their nets.

    I deal with the other end of this all the time. Most of the women I contact never respond back to me. Or they send a few messages and just disappear. So both guys and girls do this kind of thing.

    I think the best attitude to have with online dating is that it’s a volume business: you have to go through A LOT of profiles to find people who match up.

    • Mel October 21, 2009 at 3:15 pm #

      I agree with you completely on all of your points. EXCEPT I dislike the idea of online dating as a “volume business.” I thought dating was supposed to be fun that allowed you to meet new and interesting people, until, eventually….you find the right person for you. It is sad – to me at least – that we are thinking of this as a business vs. fun. I don’t disagree with you – it just makes me a little sad.

      • Snark B October 21, 2009 at 3:56 pm #

        I was emphasizing more the “volume” than the “business.” A volume business is one where they have to sell a LOT of something (say pencils) to turn a profit. In online dating, for me anyway, I have to go through a LOT of profiles to find the right one. It’s not a great analogy, I know.

        It’s just another way to say, “You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.” Only with online dating, there are a lot more frogs and you don’t kiss all of them. Perhaps this image is not much better than the “business” one. 🙂

        Sorry to make you sad.

      • Mel October 21, 2009 at 8:41 pm #

        Ahhhh now I get it. I guess I read it too quickly the first time. Makes sense. And did you just throw out a cliche to me? You know how I feel about those! HA! 🙂

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