How Easy Is It to Stay Positive?

23 Oct

You would think at 30-something (ahem, ahem no numbers) that I would have learned to be positive by now. Well unfortunately, it is a tough thing for me. It is a big switch for me. I have always been a glass half empty person. Some people see that as negative, I see it as being a realist.  But for some reason, I have always been an optimist when it comes to my dating life. Ironic, huh? I always think that even though some guy broke my heart, there is someone there for me.  My prince, my knight in shining armor, the one who will always be there for me, will just magically appear and we will live happily ever after.

Part of me still thinks he is somewhere.  Part of me does not.

Once I break up with someone, I always look at the patterns between the recent break-up and past ones.  Slovak Boy – although decent – showed similar traits/trends as the one before him.  The one before him was a jerk – a real big one.  So much of one, I cannot even come up with a name for him…yet!  And here’s the kicker: we met through normal routes! No online dating, no speed dating (which I have yet to try), no Facebook.  Normal routes.  He was a friend of friends of mine and we met at a New Year’s Eve party. He supposedly spent all night pining away for me and I didn’t give him the time of day.  (Whoops!) But he was getting in good with my friends and when the night was over, and I was a little too tipsy to drive home, my friends (unbeknownst to me) gave him my number and last name. When I woke up the following morning, I had an interesting text from and a Facebook invite.
Things went from a really big high, to an extremely low low in a short period of time.

Like Slovak Boy, he couldn’t get enough of me, sent me sweet emails, lovely texts, and wanted to spend all of his free time with me.  And then he got sick, blamed me for it, didn’t want to speak with me, pushed me away, and gave me a lame excuse for breaking up with me.  He hurt me. It is still tough to talk about it.

So here is the pattern – many of them start going 100 MPH in our relationship and then errrrrrrrrrrr- stop!  Can’t even get out of first gear.  All in a very short period of time.  Why is that? I date different men, but yet the pattern stays the same – no matter how or where I meet them.  How can I stay positive when I can’t seem to change the pattern?  Thoughts?


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