Payback is A Dish Best Served Cold

26 Oct

Yeah, yeah, yeah – I know the term is revenge.  BUT, in the my dating world, it is payback.  Before you think anything poorly about me, let me explain. Not sure about everyone else, but for me, after I get passed the sadness (or anger) of a breakup, I always think about payback.  And by that I mean, what if I run into said ex? Which killer outfit will I be wearing? What will I be doing?

COME ON – you know you think that way or at least used to when you were single.  So I always think that I will run into one of my ex’s under the following conditions:

  1. I will have just lost 10 pounds
  2. My hair will be just cut, colored, and styled
  3. Since I lost 10 lbs, I’m wearing a new kick ass, fitting (but not too, too revealing) outfit
  4. I’ll have on my  new favorite Naughty Monkey pumps
  5. I will either be on the phone or meeting my newest hunk at a bar, restaurant, shop around the corner

But knowing me, I’ll run into them under the following conditions:

  1. I will have gained 5 lbs or I’ll be PMSing and full of water weight
  2. My hair will be a mess and up in a baseball cap
  3. I’ll be wearing sweats
  4. And sneakers – with no makeup
  5. I’ll actually be on the phone with my dad arguing about something stupid while at the grocery store.

But it is still good to dream. 🙂

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4 Responses to “Payback is A Dish Best Served Cold”

  1. Miranda October 26, 2009 at 4:32 pm #

    This blog is brilliant. Mel, this post is by far your best Bridget Jones moment, which happens to be my all time favorite book!

    • Mel October 26, 2009 at 4:35 pm #

      Thanks Miranda!!! It is very Bridget-esque, isn’t it?! And it would totally happen to me.

  2. Snark B October 26, 2009 at 9:55 pm #

    Very funny!

    Speaking of cliches, you know that your ex is supposed to say, “You look good!” when he runs into you on the street, right?

    My ex said that to me two months after she moved out and we met at the bank. It was like she was reciting a line from a movie. I was still pretty bitter, so I just said, “Well, I shaved this morning.” I didn’t return the compliment.

  3. Mel October 27, 2009 at 9:37 am #

    NICE COMEBACK SNARK! I love it.

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