Where Are the Butterflies?

16 Dec

I used to be one of those people who got butterflies when I spoke with, saw, just got near a crush.  It happened all the time.  But as I’ve gotten older – and more cynical – it takes longer for those butterflies to come along.

Why is that?

For instance, take this new guy I met.  On paper – he seems great.  Cute, successful, very mellow, likes to cook, can talk sports, works in Boston (though lives farther out), divorced, and a very loving dad (this dad thing is new for me, but very intriguing too.)  We have good convos and he selected what looks like to be a fun place for dinner.

So why no butterflies?

Is it because I am overly cynical? Is it because someone, somewhere is telling me that he isn’t the one, so why even bother?  Or maybe he is the one and one day I will get those damn butterflies?

Very confusing.  But nonetheless I am looking forward to meeting him tomorrow, having a lovely dinner, and great conversations.

And as always, I will keep you posted.



5 Responses to “Where Are the Butterflies?”

  1. Sara December 16, 2009 at 2:24 pm #

    I think it’s the cynical thing. You have been disappointed and hurt so many times that you have become hardened. It sucks, but it’s not entirely a bad thing.

    You haven’t even met the guy yet! Once you do, if it goes well, the butterflies will come. I never really had butterflies EVER with E. But I love him to death, and he’s a great guy! Maybe the butterflies come less easily the older ALL of us get??!

  2. Mel December 16, 2009 at 2:47 pm #

    Really? You never got them with E? Hmmmmm…..that’s good to know.

    • Sara December 16, 2009 at 5:53 pm #

      Nope. Not really. We’ve always been really good friends. He’s always made me smile. I love him to death, but it’s less passion and more “family” kind of love. It’s always been that way. You know what I mean? And I’m cool with that. Don’t get me wrong, he can turn me on and give me chills, but it’s different than the butterflies I got as a teenager/20-something.

      I think that some people do get the butterfly thing, but what I’m getting at is that you don’t have to have the kind of butterflies you’re used to to have found a good match for you. So don’t place TOO much importance on it. Just my 2 cents. 🙂 XO

  3. Single Girl December 17, 2009 at 12:36 am #

    You have written the story of my life, Mel! Lots of good on paper guys, and nothing more. I agree with your friend Sara’s comment. For me, I know that I’ve been too hurt and jaded by guys (my Ex specifically) so it’s hard to let those barriers down. Eventually, I will – I’m working it! Maybe this will be the guy to do it for you…

  4. D December 17, 2009 at 1:22 pm #

    Ok Mel a few things, 1- single dad’s have great sex appeal, especially when they get so excited around their child(ren). And of course you know I’m speaking from experience. 2- I agree with the comments above, you may not have the butterflies for the first date, but maybe for the second. I’ve been in my relationsip for (let’s just say) 3 years, and I still get butterflies when I drive home and know he’s there waiting for me. They don’t happen every day, but they do happen. So don’t rule it out! Can’t wait to hear what happens on your date, have fun!!

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