Why Dating in Boston is So Tough

17 Jan

We are ugly Americans. Plain and simple. When I first went to Europe several years ago, my friend and I went to a bar. Well, several bars. Across two countries. And in every single one of them, we met new people. Spoke with new people. Without any expectations. The only thing we wanted was some stimulating conversation. We never spoke with anyone of them again, but for those few hours, we had fun.

Now, let’s dissect my last two Saturdays in Boston. Last Saturday, I went to dinner with two friends. Good meal, good wine, good company.  They convinced me to go to a bar afterward. I suggested this great martini bar that was around the corner from the restaurant. Perfect walking distance for a freezing night. And low and behold -tons of guys were there, several cute.  Several appeared to be single. And all staying within their clique. Not one came up to us.  Why is that?

Fast forward to a few hours ago. I go to a fundraiser for a friend.  Was looking forward to it all week.  Not expecting to meet Mr. Right. But there tons of people – I mean TONS of people. So excited they raised that much money. But I noticed there were several single people there too – men and women.  And not one person, not one, broke out of the group they came with to talk with someone new. Except for the guy who made a joke at the bar when I first came in to order a glass of wine. For a brief moment, I had hope.

Why is that? Why is Boston so hard? What happened to the old fashioned way of meeting people? Going up to them to start a conversation.  Maybe that is why I am so jaded.  Dating through technology doesn’t work. Trying to date the old fashioned way is pretty much non existent.  No wonder there’s a lot of pent up, frustrated women in this country.  We forgot how to talk like human beings – no wonder we are dubbed “Ugly Americans.”  We can’t even hold a conversation these days.

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2 Responses to “Why Dating in Boston is So Tough”

  1. Melissa January 18, 2010 at 11:55 pm #

    I can’t say I agree completely with that… yes, as Americans we do tend to be perhaps a little more unfriendly. But I had the same experience when I was in Europe, and while Europeans might be friendlier, being an American in Europe is something that I think intrigues Europeans, and they want to talk to you BECAUSE you’re American.

    As far as dating in Boston goes… it’s hard, just like any city, but it’s possible! (At least I still have faith) I wholeheartedly believe that a guy will approach a girl if he’s interested… and if he’s too shy to make a move, there’s nothing wrong with you going up and saying hi, either!

  2. D January 21, 2010 at 1:15 pm #

    Mel, break the cycle, break through your click and YOU be the one to strike up a convo. If it’s not working out there’s always the good excuse “I have to powder my nose”. 🙂 But I totally hear what you are saying. I’ve noticed that in small town bars, whenever I’d go out of town if no one knew you no one took the time to find out who you were.

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