What A Girl Wants – Part 2

9 Mar

Yesterday, I gave my swan song to bad men.  And I decided to put together two lists.  I wanted to share them with you.

In a man, I was told to list out three-five qualities. Aspects of a person that are inherent to them, something I cannot tweak or train.  It was easy to put together. After 31+ years, I know what I want:

  • Gentleman – someone who opens doors, pulls out chairs, and helps with my coat;
  • Driven – who knows what he wants in work and life and goes after it;
  • Romantic – in that old fashioned, hold my hand kind of way;
  • Kind – who asks me how my day was and sends flowers to my work “just because”; and
  • Funny – someone who can sit down when I had a bad day and just make me smile.

But since I’m far from blame in my dating life, here are the rules I’ll commit to. Rules that will make me happy and will make me respect myself daily.  (Yes, some are mistakes I have learned from.  They were right: wisdom comes with age.)

  • No more that 2 dates/week for the first 2 weeks;
  • A small kiss at the end of the first date is OK (nothing else!);
  • No sex until at least week 3 (at the very earliest!);
  • Drinks are OK on first date – if going well, then maybe dinner;
  • No going to each others’ homes until date #4;
  • No staying over until date #4;
  • Avoid talking politics or religion on the first date;
  • Do not fall for the “you’re perfect” line – I have flaws and I know it! Don’t try and BS me!;
  • Under no circumstances will we meet each others’ families until at LEAST month 2;
  • Neither party is allowed to get drunk on date #1; and
  • Smoking is OK, excessive smoking (more than 1x/date – NOT OK!)

So there you go universe.  What I want and what I’ll commit to. I’m letting go of bad men and know I’ll have a good one soon.

XO

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7 Responses to “What A Girl Wants – Part 2”

  1. jsutera654 March 9, 2010 at 10:34 am #

    I love your lists! Especially the first list – you SO deserve all of those things. Don’t lower your expectations, make they rise to the occasion 🙂 hugs!

    • Mel March 9, 2010 at 10:50 am #

      No turning back now. I have put it out there to the universe….I must commit to these!

  2. jolene1079 March 9, 2010 at 12:15 pm #

    Great list – I never thought of rules for myself or for first/second/third dates etc – but you bring up some good ones (I’ve probably broken a few of these myself, not the drunk or smoking one though – lol!)

    • Mel March 9, 2010 at 12:40 pm #

      I’ve broken several of them – of course that was before I put any in place, so I guess I didn’t *really* break them in the first place. Like I said, live and learn my friend, live and learn.

  3. Del-V March 10, 2010 at 9:33 am #

    This is my first time visiting your blog…

    At which date is it OK to show my new girlfriend my extensive collection of rare Star Wars action figures?

    • Mel March 10, 2010 at 11:05 am #

      Hmmmm. That’s a good question. Probably when you feel comfortable enough to show it to her. I think that’s your call when that will be. 🙂

  4. TMI March 12, 2010 at 6:58 pm #

    A few suggestions:

    * Gentleman – Opening doors, putting on coats, etc does NOT make a gentleman. Someone who is caring, is interested in your life, is there for you when you are down, etc etc.
    * Driven – ok
    * Romantic – ok
    * Kind – sending flowers is not ‘kind’
    * Funny – excellent

    Now for the sting:

    * No more that 2 dates/week for the first 2 weeks;
    – why are there restrictions on this? If you both want to see each other, DO IT!

    * A small kiss at the end of the first date is OK (nothing else!);
    – Well then how will you know if he’s a good enough kisser to go on the second date?

    * No sex until at least week 3 (at the very earliest!);
    – What about a BJ?

    * Drinks are OK on first date – if going well, then maybe dinner;
    – Sounds reasonable

    * No going to each others’ homes until date #4;
    – Hotels work

    * No staying over until date #4;
    – See point above

    * Avoid talking politics or religion on the first date;
    – Do you really want to get to know this person?

    * Do not fall for the “you’re perfect” line – I have flaws and I know it! Don’t try and BS me!;
    – Are you sure they didnt say “Oh yeah baby that was good”

    * Under no circumstances will we meet each others’ families until at LEAST month 2;
    – I’d wait until month 6 or until it’s real serious.

    * Neither party is allowed to get drunk on date #1; and
    – prob never a good idea

    * Smoking is OK, excessive smoking (more than 1x/date – NOT OK!)
    – Ok enough with the rules!!

    In closing, too many rules limit your options. Keep it simple.. how about… I’d like to find a really funny, driven, extremely kind man who’s done playing the field and ready to join the team!

    xoxo
    TMI

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