What Makes a Gentleman?

15 Mar

Last week I wrote about what I’m looking for in a man.  I had some positive comments and some constructive criticism.   The folks who contributed the most to this post were a bit concerned about my reaction to their post.  How do I know this?  They are some co-workers of mine who I trusted to share this blog with – and I’m happy I did. I’m not mad or upset with their thoughts.  I feel they had several valid points.  Did I agree with everything they said – no. But I did agree with some of their points.  (And of course I approved their comments – or else that would defeat the purpose of this blog.)

I’ve read and re-read their comments several times.  It took a few days to digest, but I think I finally have a resolution.

I believe their overall takeaway is the following (TMI, please tell me if I’m wrong….I know you will): I’ll know when I find that right guy and yes I need to have standards, but there needs to be some leniency with my rules. While I agree with several of their points, I need to say, that there is a reason for all of these rules.  These are mistakes I have made – over and over and over again. And when I find someone who looks different, has taken a different career path, or has a different background from past guys I’ve dated- I feel I have taken a new path.  But inevitably, I am a repeat offender and make the same mistakes.

So I’ve asked myself the following: What defines a gentleman? And what is the next step?

I think I can take their final words of advice noted below, but I am still unsure.  I just know I’ll get it right some day soon!

In closing, too many rules limit your options. Keep it simple.. how about… I’d like to find a really funny, driven, extremely kind man who’s done playing the field and ready to join the team!


6 Responses to “What Makes a Gentleman?”

  1. Jolene March 15, 2010 at 10:48 am #

    I agree – while some parameters are important, rules are also meant to be broken sometimes, and getting back to basics – what you note in your last line, is great. Don’t overthink (says the overthinking Ollie…) 😉

  2. Mel March 15, 2010 at 1:52 pm #

    But I always overthink. Part of my nature. I’m trying not to and just go with the flow. 🙂 XOXOXO, Wannabe Positive Polly

  3. TMI March 15, 2010 at 4:57 pm #

    What make’s a gentleman is someone who makes you feel like the fine lady you are 🙂

    • Mel March 16, 2010 at 2:51 pm #

      Thank you TMI. Thank you. 🙂 XOXOXO

  4. BigLittleWolf March 16, 2010 at 9:01 pm #

    What a great question! I think a “gentleman” is different for each of us, but there aren’t hard and fast rules.

    For some, certain language is important. Traditional “chivalry.” For me, it’s more about character than manners. Even manners are negotiable. I love it when a man opens doors or pulls out a chair (not so I fall on my butt, thanks), but if he doesn’t do that, it’s not that big a deal. If he isn’t attentive, or if he’s rude to others, if he doesn’t say please and thank you – to me, that’s not acceptable. Just as it’s not acceptable in a friend of either sex.

    It’s very special when a man has that “je ne sais quoi” – there’s a certain charge in the air between you – and you can feel he’s going the extra mile to please you. Little gestures. That sort of gentleman is delicious.

    • Mel March 17, 2010 at 2:48 pm #

      Agree on all points. I’m just looking for that man with that “je ne sais quoi” – it’s just taking a bit longer than I wanted.

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