Midlife Crisis or Crossroads…

23 Mar

I guess there are two ways to look at it.  A lot of events in my life lately have made me re-visit my choices over the last decade. Which can be either enlightening or depressing (again, I guess it all depends on how you look at it.)

Several questions have come to mind lately – and this list is by no means exhaustive:

          • Am I in the right city, state?
          • Did I make the correct career choice?
          • Have I been a good person/friend to others? How could I have done things differently? Could I have done things differently?
          • Was I the one that screwed up – sabotaged – my relationships?
          • Did I make the overall, correct life choices for me?

You know, the minor things.

But what it comes down to is this –I made the right choices for me at the time. And these choices developed who I am today, but they don’t necessarily define my future.  Like I’ve written about lately, I’ve been reading a LOT about “The Secret.” And I’ve read several blogs that agree with its teachings.  So to my surprise, when I was on Twitter earlier today, I ran across this post by Nando. In it, he basically says the teachings are a “bunch of hooey.”  (BTW – I think hooey is way underutilized and we should incorporate it into our every day conversations….but I digress.)

So it made me think – has everything I’ve been learning over the past couple of months just a bunch of crap? And should I disregard it all?

In a word: No.

I think I can take the best of both worlds – The Secret’s and Nando’s. While I don’t agree that I am a hot mess for following/believing in some of the teachings, he made several excellent points that I will try to keep in mind when it comes to dating (online or offline):

  1. If you do focus on something, way too long, it can be all consuming and can become an obsession.  READ: NOT GOOD.
  2. You can look desperate to the world and need to pull it together on the web (especially as we’re all plugged into Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc. 24/7. Well everyone except my father who is still on dial-up and will never, ever get a Blackberry or iPhone. Again, I digress.)
  3. You should never, EVER drop your dating criteria. We all have expectations – as do I – and I’m not really ready to budge on them.
  4. Maybe I should “Stop looking for Mr. Right and let him look for me” – I’ve decided to take back control of my life and maybe I should just be.

So thank you Nando – you opened my eyes again.  I should keep a positive attitude, still ask the universe for what I want, but I will not let it be all consuming. I will not let it take over my life.  And to my girls out there, I am looking forward to Restaurant Week, good times with out of town guests, High Class Pub Crawls, Phantom Gourmet excursions, trips to MIA, and whatever else I choose to do.



10 Responses to “Midlife Crisis or Crossroads…”

  1. Nandoisn March 23, 2010 at 7:56 pm #

    Yay! Good for you. And good luck.

    • Mel March 23, 2010 at 8:39 pm #

      Thanks – your post today was entertaining and eye-opening.

  2. jolene1079 March 23, 2010 at 8:30 pm #

    good post my friend…keep ruminating and mulling, but don’t obsess – I know there is a fine line 🙂 And um, so excited that many of those items you are looking forward to….are with ME! 🙂 Woo-freakin-hoo!

    • Mel March 23, 2010 at 8:40 pm #

      That’s the other thing I’m working on – not obsessing. I know not to – I just need to remember it. You may have to remind me from time to time.

      • jolene1079 March 23, 2010 at 8:40 pm #

        I will remind you – if you remind me 🙂

      • Mel March 23, 2010 at 8:45 pm #

        Done and done.

  3. lifebytheday March 23, 2010 at 8:35 pm #

    Great post! One other thought for you friend, sometimes Mr. Right comes in a package that you wouldn’t expect. 😉 And I don’t mean just the physical aspects…S is not the person I would have picked as my husband if reading about him on a piece of paper, but as you know, there couldn’t be a more perfect person for ME. Make sure to keep an open mind!

    Love you!

    • Mel March 23, 2010 at 8:41 pm #

      XOXOXO J

      I only hope one day I can find the love you and S share.

      And trust me, I am an equal opportunity dater – I’ll date most shapes and sizes when it comes to men. OK – that sounds bad, but you know what I mean.

  4. jsutera654 March 24, 2010 at 11:03 am #

    Hoooey! <—-sorry, it had to be done.
    Seriously though, great post. And a good reminder, not just for you, but all of us that taking a step back usually always helps you see things clearer/differently. As I said last night, it's time for us all to bloom right where we've been planted…and for you, you're planted right near me so between the two of us, we're gonna be some pretty damn perty, blooming big tulips this spring! xoxo

    • Mel March 24, 2010 at 11:12 am #

      Yes, yes we are. I think it’s all about balance right now. XOXO

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