Taking the Zen Like Approach

26 Apr

A lot of things have gone through my mind this weekend, including, but not limited to the following:

  • I like S – a lot
  • Maybe he’s meant for me, maybe he’s not
  • He realized he was wrong, but why didn’t he want to see me this weekend?
  • When will I see him again?
  • Did we go too fast – so fast that he got too comfortable too quickly?
  • Did I overreact? Am I asking too much? Should he be giving me more?

Not too sure of what the answer is to any of these questions. But I do know the following: he is sweet, remembers little things, and likes me (he has shown and told me that over and over again.)  Maybe we did go too fast, too quickly.  But I like him and I’m not going to push things.

This is a comment I wrote in an email to a close friend earlier today, which I think sums up my feelings about the situation nicely (she later commented it was very Zen like of me and that she dug it):

I think we went way too fast, way too quickly, which made him feel very comfortable with me. Which is good AND bad. So I’m gonna date him casually – if he wants more, we can talk about it.  I figured if he’s the one, it’ll work out, if not, there are enough men in this world to date.

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8 Responses to “Taking the Zen Like Approach”

  1. Deanna Leigh April 26, 2010 at 4:00 pm #

    I totally agree with you on the comment to your friend! I’m trying to remind myself that slow and steady not only wins the proverbial race but also allows you to get know the track and what your options are. It’s tough to navigate that though when you’re excited about someone you’ve met who really hits all the right like buttons.

    I hope it all works out the way it should!

  2. Snark B April 27, 2010 at 10:25 am #

    Taking the Zen approach, if he texts too much in the woods and you are not there to see it, does it still annoy you? 🙂

    Sorry, I don’t have any answers for you, but I look forward to seeing what happens next. Will he? Won’t he? Will you? And what of Bella?

  3. Mel April 27, 2010 at 5:18 pm #

    HA! Thanks for the support peeps. LDM – I’ll hope to have good stories for you when I see you next month. Snark – I think he’ll come through. And no worries about Bella – he passed the Bella Test….with FLYING COLORS! She adores him.

  4. Mel April 27, 2010 at 5:21 pm #

    And to answer your first question – no it does not bother me if I’m not there to see him texting. But then again, if I’m there, I should be a priority. Off soapbox…for now.

  5. BigLittleWolf April 27, 2010 at 7:13 pm #

    Why oh why is it always the women wondering – did I go too fast, what does he think, will he call?

    (Do men ever think these things? Just wondering… Hardly seems fair, does it… )

    • Mel April 28, 2010 at 6:42 am #

      It does hardly seem fair Wolfie. I really feel men are programmed differently – I know sounds bitter and cliche. But I think they just handle dating in a more non-committal way, with less stress and fewer questions.

      I do have a confession and that I saw him last night. Post on how the evening went coming soon.

  6. singlegirlie April 28, 2010 at 1:35 am #

    Good question, BigLittleWolf. I often wonder if men ever think that way too. Because it sure seems like we women do! And God, I hate when I do that!

    Zen approach is great, Mel. Love their theories on non-attachment. I try to remember that in life. 🙂

    • Mel April 28, 2010 at 6:48 am #

      Easier said that done! However, I am getting the hang of it, little by little. The Zen approach helped me out last night. BUT, I had to remind myself to take do that, so not sure how “Zen” that is….

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