31 Aug

So I have a simple question to pose.  Not sure what kind of response I’ll get, if I get any at all, but it’s worth a shot. I’d love to hear how people handle this problem.

How do you feel/handle it when you feel you’ve been disrespected?


18 Responses to “Disrespect?”

  1. imerika August 31, 2010 at 4:49 pm #

    I’m a bitch, and I don’t forgive.

    I act like a five-year old and I disrespect you back.

    I suck though so maybe more grown-up people can give you a grown-up answer…

    • TisWID August 31, 2010 at 4:50 pm #

      Interesting, v interesting. How’s that worked out for ya? Though sometimes, I act the EXACT same way.

    • IntrigueMe August 31, 2010 at 8:34 pm #

      Unfortunately, I’m with Erika (no offense Erika!)…. but I have a tendency to over-react and throw a little fit about it. Luckily these fits are usually contained in my blog or by venting with friends etc… but with the work situation lately, I’m really proud of myself. I stood my ground yesterday and today I sat down with my boss to let her know what’s been going on so she can address it professionally. Go. Me.

      If it’s a friend who’s disrespected me, I think “choose your battles”. If it’s not worth causing a fuss I give it some time to die down then I move on. If it is, or if it’s repeated, I’d probably drop the friendship (I’ve unfortunately been doing this a lot lately).

      • TisWID August 31, 2010 at 8:44 pm #

        First of all – go you!! Yay for standing your ground.

        Second – its happened before. I never said anything before and I’m just plain hurt now. Its happened before with many, many, many people. So I also beat myself up over it.

  2. jsutera654 August 31, 2010 at 4:59 pm #

    I guess it all depends on how I was disrespected and by whom. Seriously all depends on that. If its by a friend I’ve been trying to distance myself from, I might use that as a good indicator/reason to continue to distance myself, for example. If it’s from a close friend/family member/colleague, etc. I would address it upfront, otherwise it’ll just eat you up and end up coming out in another way down the road. Festering and all that jazz, know what I mean?

    • TisWID August 31, 2010 at 5:05 pm #

      So there’s the conondrum, the rub if you will. If you are trying to distance, totally agree. But if its a close friend/family/colleague, does it sometimes make sense to let the situation “go away” on its own? I mean, its tough right – especially if you have an idea on how this person may react. Most people say you should be honest, but if you have to sugarcoat it (b/c let’s be honest, we’re all guilty of that) and can’t have an open convo about it, is there any point? I dunno.

      • jsutera654 August 31, 2010 at 5:08 pm #

        Again – it depends on what the situation is. Is it something you are SERIOUSLY going to be able to get past and let slide or will it just fester and drive you nuts at the end of the day?

      • TisWID September 1, 2010 at 10:02 am #

        Very true. I’ve come to that understanding recently. It does depend on the sitch.

  3. Deanna Leigh August 31, 2010 at 5:11 pm #

    Totes depends on what happened! I try to manage a Three Strikes policy on certain things…but, there are offenses that are just not okay and worthy of the write-off.

    • TisWID August 31, 2010 at 5:14 pm #

      Hmmmmm…three strikes. Good approach – and I guess everyone has a different tipping point than others.

  4. Meg August 31, 2010 at 6:23 pm #

    Most of the time, take it on the chin, complain to someone not involved and move on but rarely forget. But that is mostly becuase I run, kicking & screaming, from conflict. I will typically put some space and time between me and the person that is irritating me. It may appear to be like in-action, but really is just a well-used tactic of passive aggression. 🙂

    • TisWID August 31, 2010 at 6:30 pm #

      Hmmmm. Another interesting approaching.

    • TisWID August 31, 2010 at 6:36 pm #

      And I mean “approach.”. I’m not so sure I agree. I mean, shouldn’t you at least talk about it like adults?

  5. Meg August 31, 2010 at 7:16 pm #

    Not necessarily, think about the person who you are dealing with? And what is currently going on in their life? Would they be receptive to the conversation right now? Is their disrepect coming from some place else and not specifically directed towards you? If some one would never talk about it, it does no good to have a conversation. It would only serve to create a bigger break between the two people. On the flip side, that same person (who wouldn’t have the conversation) might be keeping quiet about some other issues too about the other person (you). If you can co-exist with that person, why does there need to be some big conversation when with quiet – it will eventually go away?

    • TisWID August 31, 2010 at 7:28 pm #

      So basically – if I’m reading correctly – me as the person being disrespected shouldn’t say anything b/c the other person won’t talk anyway? AND as you said “that same person (who wouldn’t have the conversation) might be keeping quiet about some other issues too about the other person (you). ” – so I’m getting the shaft b/c then said other person has a problem with me?? And has issue they’re not bringing up?

      So really I’m screwed and can’t say anything at all in either scenario???

      Am I understanding/reading correctly?

  6. Meg September 1, 2010 at 8:56 am #

    yep 🙂 Well that is usually what I do – I am not saying that you should do it. LOL.

    • TisWID September 1, 2010 at 9:20 am #

      Hmmmm. Well maybe we’ll just agree to disagree on this topic. I just feel people should be able to talk about things – and listen to others when there’s a problem. If its minor like someone didn’t show up on time for an event, I agree let it go. That’s just silly. If it’s bigger though – and the people are friends – a conversation, with a lot of listening from at least one party is in order. Obviously there is a breakdown in communication somewhere and letting hurtful things “go” for so long can have long-lasting, damaging affects (effects???)

  7. itneverrainsinseattle September 2, 2010 at 2:15 am #

    Who disrespected you?! Who?! Let me at ’em!

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