A Plea for Acceptance

8 Sep

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, the word acceptance has many different meanings. One is the the act of accepting : the fact of being accepted : approval.  In other words, there is an act of one person accepting another person as they are – or accepting the situation as it is.

That made me think. A lot. As you may have been able to tell, I’ve been going through a lot during this period of my life. Many things I haven’t written about in this venue.  Things that are hard for me to admit. For instance, did you know that my friends and I are following our friend’s accused murderer’s case regularly? Do you know how weird it was when I got a message from her (sent by her husband) about another mass for her?  Did you know I’ve had to attend a friend’s father’s wake in recent weeks? For a little Jew girl, do you know how weird it is for me to go to a wake? By myself? Standing in line for an hour and seeing my friend and his family?  This isn’t the first time I’ve had to do it either, which is heartbreaking. And last weekend, I found out another family member passed away suddenly. While I wasn’t close to this him, the news rocked the family as it was such a shock.

Seriously? Is there ever going to be a break?

Outside of family, I’ve also started a new job and had to deal with many breakdowns in the condo. Work is great, condo is getting better, but when you have to do it alone, all the time, it can be a bit overwhelming. OH – and I had dental work that knocked me out for a week.  (I guess its all part of getting older – I knew it was coming.) 🙂

A lot going on. Not sure it’s more than others; other people probably have MORE going on in their life.  But for me, I wake up most mornings trying to be positive, but sometimes I have to wonder, “what now? what’s going to happen today? am I strong enough to deal with what the world is going throw at me?”

So when I write about acceptance, I am making a plea, or rather an explanation of sorts.

I was brought up with an understanding that things go on in people’s lives – many things that I don’t know about.  And I try and understand and accept other peoples’ situations and remind myself that my life is not their life. That they respond to me in certain ways b/c they may have as much, if not more, going on in their lives.   That they may feel overwhelmed with what life is throwing at them. And that most times, they don’t  give a shit about mine. Nor should they have to.

But I try to give a shit about their’s. 

And while I try to care about others, I sometimes get lost and forget who I am.  I start all the self doubt, which is so detrimental. And I need to accept who I am and be OK with me, as a person.

Who am I?

A human begin who may not handle situations as well as I would like to. I am a sensitive, bitchy, opinionated person. A person who takes everything people say to heart. Whether I should or not is debatable. I guess when their attitudes begin to affect me, I need to remind myself that I am still OK, that I am still a good person, and those who are supposed to stick by me, always will, no matter how I act or how they feel.

My plea comes with this – sometimes you can’t always blame me. I can’t always be the bad guy. People don’t always know what is running through my head or what situations are going on with me. I can’t always be the one taking the heat for something when I react/don’t react a certain way. I need to accept who you are and you need to accept me for who I am.  The good, the bad, and the ugly. 

 

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6 Responses to “A Plea for Acceptance”

  1. Miss Over Thinker September 8, 2010 at 4:15 pm #

    You have no idea how badly I am struggling with the same concept – that of acceptance – of just accepting that my life is a lot harder than most people I know of (or so it seems) and I just have to accept it and move on.. but no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to do it.. sleepless nights, mindless binging, followed by lost appetite, you name it I have got it.. yet I try hard to keep myself busy, focus on the positives and take each day as it comes..

    What you are going through is a lot for one person to handle so don’t ever doubt your strength. I wish I could say something or do something to make it all better but I know I can’t.. just know that I am thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way.. 🙂

    • TisWID September 8, 2010 at 5:57 pm #

      The tough part is accepting life for what it is. We all get the ‘short end of the stick’ at times, and we need to ‘roll with the punches.’ How’s that for cliches? In all seriousness, I think we’re all in tough phases in our lives. I never want to be that girl that thinks everyone should “boo hoo hoo” her, b/c I know others face challenges as well. I just hope that we can all accept and appreciate that there are tons of things going on in all of our lives.

      I think you often and hope you are doing well Miss.
      XOXO

  2. imerika September 8, 2010 at 6:07 pm #

    I struggle with some of these issues a lot. Although, I feel like a lot of other people’s lives are a lot harder than mine, and I’m such a wuss when I complain about a bad day or how much I hate my job. I feel like my issues are so miniscule, but they’re still important to me because they’re MINE, you know?

    I think life is just a constant struggle to figure out who you are and who you want to be, and everyday I try to enjoy the journey rather than just focusing on the negative.

    • TisWID September 8, 2010 at 7:18 pm #

      But you’re right. They are your issues and they are important to you. And that’s ok. Its ok to be upset about something and peeps not get it. What is important is that they simply understand you have things concerning you and respect it.

      But I like your attitude about enjoying the journey. I need to take that on as my mantra!

  3. Shannon September 10, 2010 at 3:30 pm #

    It is so hard to find that balance when you, yourself, are in such a tough situation. Especially one that seems to be never ending. I find myself getting frustrated that those are the moments I seem to need my friends the most and after giving to them all the time I feel I’m getting nothing in return. I hate that. You shouldn’t have to keep tabs but sometimes I do. You just have to remain true to yourself and at times be selfish and do what is best for you. Even if you hurt some feelings in the end. Sure life can always be worse but if you hurt, you hurt. I struggle with this all a lot. We all do.

    • TisWID September 10, 2010 at 3:39 pm #

      Appreciate your kind words. It is a struggle I battle with – lose quite frequently. I tend to put others ahead of me at all times. And when I finally say something and put myself first, its a big ol’ mess. And then I retreat and hide in my shell for a long time. Its not a good cycle to be in, to be honest. But sometimes I just need to scream “I AM HUMAN, CUT ME SOME SLACK, I NEED SOMETHING FROM YOU.”

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