I Will Keep My Happiness

15 Oct

During a long, tearful conversation with my friend A this weekend, she reminded me of something. Something that I promised myself I wouldn’t let happen anymore.

She said to me  (and I’m paraphrasing, but not by much): “I’m saying this because I love you, but you let others take away your happiness.”

And you know what? She is honest to goodness, downright, utterly, correct.  As part of my Stratejoy class, I promised myself I wouldn’t let others dictate my mood. And while I was successful for a while, I fell off the wagon. I fell hard.  For the past few weeks – in case you couldn’t tell – I’ve been in a “mood.”  A bad mood if you will. I  keep up appearances, smile at the office, go out often with friends, but when I come home, it just hits me. I’m sad. It’s because I have let others have some insane power over me and my mood.

Why is that?

For most aspects of my life, I don’t give a damn what I people think. I dress the way I want, shop where I want, live where I want, try new things that I want to try, give my opinions when I want. So why is it, that when it comes to my happiness, I am not the master of this ship?  Why do I let others – and the way they act – make me feel less happy?

It’s not because they have items or people in their life I wish I had. I’m proud of the life I’ve built here and while I think I could make changes and have considered some drastic ones, by many accounts I am successful. Not because of my salary or education (though these are big aspects), but because I live my life on my terms.

So what are your thoughts? How do I take back my happiness? Do you let others affect your happiness? And how should I get out of this self-imposed funk? HELP!

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4 Responses to “I Will Keep My Happiness”

  1. jolene1079 October 15, 2010 at 1:29 pm #

    Aw, friend. Sorry to hear about the tough time lately. It is a very aware comment – “you let others take away your happiness” – I think that is true, of many people, not just you. It’s HARD not to let others or whatever is going on around you to bother you or make you upset. It’s definitely a habit that is hard to change and I’ve fallen into that trap too. For me, sometimes you just gotta take a step back and ask yourself what the real issue is, is it that person or thing that happened or something different? Sometimes its not even related to that, just spawns other issues going on in the mind, I’ve found. XO, miss ya friend, can’t wait for next weekend!

  2. Newlyweds on a Budget October 15, 2010 at 5:14 pm #

    I’m not sure, but if you figure out the answer, will you please let me know?

  3. Shannon October 17, 2010 at 8:42 pm #

    I’m guilty of this from time to time too. But I think it is an old solution but difficult….do one thing for yourself each day. Even if it is small but one thing that makes you happy. I have to remind myself to do this from time to time and be a little selfish. It is good for the soul.

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