The Art of Saying No – Part 2

25 Oct

The other side.  A couple of weeks ago I went out on a date with a guy – a very nice person, but someone that I just didn’t completely “click” with.  When he emailed me asking me out for a second date, I thought about it – for a couple of days. I weighed the idea of going out with him and ultimately decided to say no to a second date, but I wrote and re-wrote what I thought was a nice note. I wouldn’t say I agonized over the email, but I put thought into it.

Fast forward to last week. I went out on a couple of dates with a guy who I thought I clicked with. We had a fun time together, good conversations, a little flirtation, and yes a little peck good bye after the second date. We even texted and emailed that night and the following morning.

All good right?


I didn’t hear from him for a few days. The day after the second date was Wednesday – didn’t think too much of not hearing from him.Thursday – my gut instinct kicked in and I knew I wouldn’t hear from him again and by Friday – I just gave up. And then it happened:

Saturday – I got a TEXT MESSAGE at wait for it…wait for it.. 7 AM!  7 AM! Let’s digest this. The guy I went out with, P, is a runner and I know he goes running early Saturday mornings. Which is great.  But you A – don’t wait that many days to tell someone you don’t want to date them anymore B – you don’t freakin’ text them this information b/c it shows you couldn’t care less to tell them more than what you can say within 160 characters and C – writing it at 7 AM on a Saturday, is just disrespectful.


Seriously I was so pissed. And now, a couple of days past this incident, I have to laugh. Really dude – you couldn’t even give me the courtesy of telling me something in more than 160 characters and you couldn’t wait to tell me at  a more “reasonable hour.” I laughed about it over the weekend with some friends – and I have to go back to what others said about him – which includes “TisWID – you dodged a bullet with this one” and “He’s such a ballless bastard.”

I don’t want to disrespect anyone on this blog. I don’t. But if you take the time to date a girl and take her out a couple of times, at least be courteous when you decide you don’t want to take her out for a third date. You just make the male race look bad!

Plus you give us females more things to laugh and write about.


12 Responses to “The Art of Saying No – Part 2”

  1. jolene1079 October 25, 2010 at 1:52 pm #

    Sadly, typical, isn’t it? Very odd to do it at 7 am though, how annoying on top of it all. I’m sorry friend, but glad you can kinda sorta laugh about it now.

    • TisWID October 26, 2010 at 10:06 am #

      Eh – all I can do is laugh right about now.

  2. IntrigueMe October 25, 2010 at 3:47 pm #

    Was texting your normal means of communication or was this new? Because if that’s how you normally got in touch… then it’s probably okay. As for the 7am bit, yeah that blows but I never get angry when people text/email/call etc. late at night or early in the AM because I feel it’s my responsibility to shut my ringer off if I’m sleeping or don’t want to be disturbed. You can always look at it from the upside, which is that most guys don’t have the balls to tell you at all. At least he didn’t pull a disappearing act.

    • TisWID October 26, 2010 at 10:05 am #

      Texting was one of the many means of communication – along with email and phone calls. I do gotta give him props for not pulling a disappearing act. BUT I still believe there should be some additional level of respect on his part not to send it so early. As someone who has dealt with crazy phone calls at all times of the day – I keep my phone near me at all times. It is also his responsibility to be understanding of other people’s time. Besides, he could have given me a little bit more than 160 characters worth of info….

  3. Shannon October 25, 2010 at 6:05 pm #

    Cross that dude off the list…how sad for him. Better to turn it into a good laugh and move on.

    • TisWID October 26, 2010 at 10:03 am #

      Laughing – that I am doing!

  4. Snark B October 26, 2010 at 10:26 am #

    I know you’re upset that it didn’t work out, but I’m with IntrigueMe. I don’t understand why a text at 7am was such a big deal. Maybe it’s a little odd, but I don’t find it disrespectful. Some people are morning people and do their best thinking first thing in the morning. For me, a text is not real time and doesn’t require you to do anything. It’s not like he called you and you had to interact with him that early in the morning.

    As a morning person myself, I don’t consider 7am the middle of the night. But if someone called me at 11:00 pm to break up with me, I’d be annoyed. It sounds like this was all for the best, anyway, if you two had such different views of how to communicate and when. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.

    • TisWID October 26, 2010 at 6:10 pm #

      Fair enough. It just bothered me – now I get to laugh. Eh – no worries about it not working out; I’ll find my Prince Charming one day!

  5. Miss Over Thinker October 26, 2010 at 4:36 pm #

    I think it was disrespectful on both counts – both the 7 am bit and the text bit. Even if he is a morning person, he could have composed the message early and then sent it to you later and definitely email is a better/nicer option.. but like someone else said above, at least he did text you – some douches won’t even be that courteous. In any case, good riddance!

    • TisWID October 26, 2010 at 6:14 pm #

      MOT! I was just thinking of you!!! Ya, I have to agree on their comments as well – at least he did tell me. We’ll see what happens with the next!

  6. Newlyweds on a Budget October 26, 2010 at 7:32 pm #

    I don’t know…I don’t think I’ve ever turned down a second date (maybe once) simply because I didn’t ‘click’ with a guy. I always figured that it took a couple of times before you really figured out if there was any ever chemistry or not. And my proof to back me up, is that the first time I met my husband, we met up for coffee and it was SO NOT a date–we were simply meeting as friends. And if it had been a date, I would have probably turned him down for a second date. But by continuing to meet as friends, I got to get to know him better. And I honestly can’t believe how it turned out.

    You really did dodge a bullet with this guy, but I wouldn’t turn down second dates unless there is something seriously wrong with you or you find them repulsive. Give the guys a chance! : )

    • TisWID October 28, 2010 at 11:52 am #

      Yes ma’am – I’ll start giving more guys a chance. I promise.

      PS – ifyou first meetingwas a “date”, you don’t think you’d go out with BB again? Glad it turned out the way it did!

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