Your Sense of Self

16 Feb

So I need to get this off my chest.  Or at least write it down publicly so I can always look back on it and remember how important this next statement is.  I was chatting with a friend yesterday – commisserating about our current situations.  She is in a committed relationship, but looking to make a career change. I am happy in my position, but looking to be in a committed relationship. Kinda, funny right?  Well, here’s the kicker. As we spoke, we talked about when things get us down, we need to get up, figure out what is messed up, and make a change.

Well that made me think – I do that. All the time. When things have me down, I tend to look at the situation and figure out a way to make it better. Or different. Or something that it isn’t. So we talked about all of the things we have each been trying to do in the recent past to make us feel better or at the very least, making the right steps in the direction we want to be in.  And as part of this discussion/journey, she made a statement that resonated with me. BIG TIME! B/c it was something I have been feeling, but couldn’t quite express. And she did it one sentence:

“Your sense of self is automatically offset by a lack of other half.”

Which is awful if you think about it, but it is totally true.  I have a job I like, with co-workers who I enjoy sitting with daily. I have my lovely little condo, with my furball to come home to every night.  A bunch of friends to spend nights and weekends with and an organization I love working with in my free time. And a supportive, crazy family who I can call on at any time.

Why isn’t that enough? That should make me feel “whole” – and for some reason I’ve been thinking subconsciously that it isn’t, b/c I haven’t found my better half. Yet. 

She also said I need to visualize myself as being whole, because, really, I AM!  This isn’t some women’s lib garb I’m just spewing to make myself feel better, but honest-to-god, truth. And something I need to remember on a daily, hourly, or even by the minute basis.

To my friend, thanks for all of your sage counsel.

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