11 Mar

So, I’ve been wanting to write this post for a few days now and for some reason or another, couldn’t. Time constraints, work, Bella…y’know, the usual! Well, so here goes.

Last weekend I went to a college friend’s party.  Had a blast – ate  alot, drank very little, but had really good conversation. Overall a great night.  And because I was sober, I witnessed a lot. Everything. With a clear head.  And watchful eye.

There were a few couples at the party- and when it cleared out a bit and people had some booze in them, man was it fun to watch. There was this one couple in particular that made me do a lot of thinking.  They were interesting – way too lovey, dovey for me and all over each other. I mean ALL over each other – there were times I thought myself “MY GOD, just go into the bathroom, have a quickie and move on.” But no such luck.

And it was apparent they had been together for some time.  Good for them!

However, the real entertainment actually came when Beyonce’s song, “Put A Ring On It,” started playing.  You would think they would have been dancing and making out. But no! The girl, we’ll call her….”Amy” decided to do the dance and every time the chorus came on, she would stare at him, point at her left ring finger and sing directly to him.  And each time he ignored her and started playing with his Blackberry. 

WOW!  So they go from “that” couple that couldn’t get enough of one another to her dancing around looking like a fool. Poor Amy.  Poor, poor Amy.

Who am I to judge? I’m  not – I just think from that little interaction she thinks/hopes one thing and he, the exact opposite. Maybe not. Maybe he just hates that song or got a text that needed an immediate response.  All I know is Amy looked like she was forcing the issue. 

Ladies, is that what our world has come to? Are we defining who we are by whether or not we’re in a relationship? Or married? Must we resort to songs to push our relationships/significant others into a direction that may not be right for them at that moment?  I dunno.

What do I know is this – if I’m ever like Amy and dancing around like a drunken, possessed woman pointing to my finger and lipsyncing, I don’t care how much I protest….friends, pull me into another room and feed me greasy food so I sober up.


6 Responses to “Put A Ring On It – REALLY, LADIES? REALLY?”

  1. verybadcat March 11, 2011 at 6:16 pm #

    i think that some women are so eager for that ring, so eager to be “chosen” and be done with dating and be a married woman that they lose their minds a little.

    i pressured the wasbund into proposing, and i got what i was angling for.

    ten years later, divorce decree in hand, it occurred to me: if i had left it alone, let him come to it in his own time, i might have seen his inability to full commit. he may not ever have done it. i might have waiting another six months or another year and broken up with him upon realizing his lack of intentions.

    instead, i married a man that wasn’t inspired by his own feelings and sense of commitment, and i spent the next decade propping up a house of cards on my own. not that there weren’t good times and victories and genuine love, but more that when i stopped feeding the relationship, it died a slow and painful death.

    women lose sight of this, i think. they don’t/can’t/won’t consider the implications of applying pressure and issuing ultimatums. and if you’re in the position where you feel it necessary or appropriate to do so, run like fucking hell. because what you really want and need is a man with the maturity to come to proposing on his own, not someone you can pressure into “putting a ring on it”.

    • TisWID March 12, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

      You put it so well and I appreciate your side of things. I wish more women saw it your way.

      Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

  2. Akirah March 11, 2011 at 8:23 pm #

    I was going to think of a clever comment for this post, but I think VBC summed it up pretty nicely.

    I will say that I refuse to be that girl. My two closest friends knew details about their impending engagements, right down to the very dates their men proposed.

    I dunno…I want no part of that. I like mystery. And pursuit. But that’s just me.

    • TisWID March 12, 2011 at 4:01 pm #

      I’m very much like you. And couldn’t agree more.

      Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

  3. Angela March 21, 2011 at 3:59 pm #

    My husband proposed to me after only four months of dating. I look back at that now and think “WTF?” and am already telling our two-year-old daughter she needs to date a man longer than that before saying yes. But I digress…

    A few weeks after he proposed, I started graduate school and was thrilled to include “newly engaged” in my introduction at the beginning of my group therapy class (I was in a counseling program). One of the girls in my class turned to me and said, “You’ve only been dating for four months? I had to put in a year and a half before I got my rock!” I was shocked. In fact, I still am. By saying she had to “put in” a certain amount of time before getting her “rock,” it made it sound like that’s all she was dating him for. I never learned the status of their relationship outside that, but it’s something I think about a lot when it comes to dating and requesting a ring or an engagement.

    • TisWID March 21, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

      That’s awesome. Many of my friends IRL think what happened to you, will eventually happen to me. I.e. when I meet “that” person, it will happen so quick. I think its great! I just don’t think it should be forced.

      I just don’t understand those who force it or who, like you said, put their time in. Sounds like a job more than anything else. Kinda sad, dontcha think?

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