Is Texting The New Way to “Mark Your Territory”?

21 Sep

Well, it is no surprise that I’m an online dater.  I admit – I’ve tried several sites and some I like, some I don’t.  And most of the time, I have fun on them.  It’s a new way to meet people.  I love going to networking and charity events, but this provides a new avenue for me, which I like.

With that long intro, let’s get into today’s subject. I recently started chatting with two guys and both asked me for my phone number.  I was interested in both and thought “why not?” Can it hurt? Nope.

Let’s talk about the first guy, the “nice guy.”  The one who read my profile and asked questions about me based on it.  Very nice. Asked if I wanted to meet for drinks the following week. I said sure and here’s my number.  Well he called me.  Three days later and it was late on a Sunday night, so I didn’t pick up (I also happened to be in a heated debate with a family member at the time.) So I called him the next day – within 24 hours and left a nice voicemail. B/c my friend and I already dubbed him the “nice guy”, I decided to text him a couple of hours later.  And then it began. Tons of texting back and forth.  When I finally said, “let’s talk tomorrow” – and he agreed.

What did he then do the next day? Texted.  And after some back and forth, I just wrote, “call me when you have a moment and we can figure out drinks this week.”  This was on a Tuesday. He called. But said he was booked up for the rest of the week (ummm, remember, you asked me out first), but that he would call or text to figure something out for the next week.

Fast forward five more days and I get a text. That’s it… If you can’t ask me out like a gentleman AND you wait five days to contace me when you didn’t follow through the first time, apparently dating isn’t a high priority for you. And that’s fine. But it’s not for me. I’m putting myself out there- and I want someone to do the same for me. Done and done.

Let’s go to the next guy, the one we rightfully or wrongfully dubbed “the player” – which came about because of what he wrote in his profile and the pictures he posted.  Fine, we (I) judged.  It’s OK, you can judge me for me judging.  I’ve dealt with worse.

But back to the player.  The one who ONLY texts. The one who says he’ll call and what does he do? Yup. Texts.  Last week, after he told me he’d call, he waited two days to contact me again and sent me a smiley face.  I talked to a few of my friends about the situation and they all came up with the same question I had: “How the hell do you respond to a smiley face?” The answer? You don’t. I ignored. Again, he texted me this week.  This time, asking me how my week was going.

When my friend and I chatted about she responded with the following – I kid you not:

“texting is like the new “marking terrotory” thing.  like they have to pee all over the place”

And you know what? She’s right. I bet I’m not the only one he’s been texting this to, and I wonder what kind of response, if any, he’s expecting from me. Why now?  How many other women is he marking his territory with? Is it even worth responding? I don’t know.

Now before you think I’m so frigid person stuck in the dark ages, let me explain. I think technology is  great – I have multiple computers, smartphone, etc. And texting does have its place.  It does make sense to communicate with folks this way – once you have a set relationship in place.  My perference is to send a quick one letting a friend know I’m thinking of them, running late for drinks, or to try and set up a phone date.  Maybe I am old fashioned a bit when it comes to dating, but I do feel I should be asked out like how my dad asked my mom out – via phone.  Though in this decade, it can be on my smartphone. 🙂


One Response to “Is Texting The New Way to “Mark Your Territory”?”


  1. Introduction: Low Key Dude | This is Why I Date - April 15, 2014

    […] asked me out. Gasp – via a call and not a text (to understand my feelings on texting, read here!) He called me that night – grant it, I was already on my way to meet him – to confirm […]

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