Tag Archives: Feeling better

No More “Filler” Guys

26 Feb

I can’t take credit for this statement. I just read to fantastic articles on EliteDaily:

As I’m dealing with the aftermath of getting over The Recruiter, I’ve done all kinds of reading, watching all kinds of videos, and doing a lot of thinking. Maybe way too much thinking. Way, way, way too  much thinking. I keep questioning if I did something wrong, gave the wrong vibe, maybe the wrong impression. But I don’t think so. I debate calling him, but not sure that’s the best approach either. If he wanted to talk, he knew how to reach me.

I started feeling better last night and this morning, with only a few bouts or twinges of hurt. Then I read these articles I linked to above and felt it was a message I needed to hear. And I feel a bit better. Maybe the Recruiter was just a filler guy. Someone who is taking up my man space. I haven’t had a mother to talk to one-on-one in many years. More than a decade, but I felt that if she were around, she would have something similar. Maybe not in those exact words, but along those lines.

Then I read the second article – and I believe I deserve someone who will give me the world and nothing less.We all deserve it. They’re both good reads, so I think you need to take the time to. 🙂 My two cents…for what it’s worth….

Life – Reason, Season, or Lifetime?

31 May

One of my new favorite poems:

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
– Author unknown

Why is it my favorite poem? Because it pretty much sums up life and friendships in a nice, neat, little bow.  I haven’t been updating this recently and I know it. But it’s because I’m figuring out who are my reason, season, and life friends.  It’s been tough because I am fiercely loyal to those I’m close to. And when sometimes people don’t live up to my expectations or they become pre-occupied with their lives, I just have to realize that sometimes friendships and relationships are supposed to come and go as you need them.

I’m very lucky though.

Because I’m finding my way of who I am in my 30s.  Because I’m realizing that some of my friends from my teens and twenties were phenomenal at the time, but maybe we have just grown apart. Because I’m still figuring out what I want and what makes me happy. And as part of this journey – my eyes are now opened to phenomenal people. People who accept me for me and accept that maybe now I’m a bit guarded than what I once was and that maybe I’m a bit more introverted, but who don’t question it.

If I’ve lost touch with you or we have stopped being friends for something, trust me, you have been in my thoughts non-stop. Even if I haven’t been in your’s.  But maybe our friendship was there for a reason or we were only meant to be in each other’s lives for a finite amount of time.   Whatever the reason, I am in a better place because I knew you. All of you.  No matter how or if our friendship ended.

XOXO

Optimism

20 Sep

Something I haven’t felt in a long time.

Overwhelmed? Yup.

Out of control? You betcha!

Lonely? Sadly, yes.

And to be honest, who wouldn’t? It has been a rollercoaster for the past month. But something hit me this weekend. Something that gave me a little boost of optimism.

Is it the fact I finished my Stratejoy class? Maybe.

Is it because I finally feel like I’m getting some kind of handle of my life. Part of it.

But a lot of it has to do with, I’m finally putting myself first. Work is great.  I feel like I’m accomplishing things. My condo – despite the re-fi falling through – my appliances are finally coming in/getting fixed. And I feel, for some reason, that something good is gonna happen to me.

No, not good. Great! I feel like my life is in order. I can no longer complain about work, I’m working on getting my budget in order, and I feel I can accomplish things on a daily basis.

Yes, I felt optimism. Not sure what’s comin’, but I know its gonna be good.

And I hope everyone feels the same way.

Bring on Fall, bring on Football, bring on the goodness!

This Is NOT A Pity Party

12 Jul

We all have them. Personal and professional triumphs. And personal and professional challenges. Lately, I feel I’ve had more of the latter than the former. But I REFUSE to discuss them. I refuse to go in-depth on these subjects. THIS IS NOT A PITY PARTY.

Rather, I’d like to focus on some sage advice various friends have given me over the past two days. These are paraphrased and some are their own gems, some are pieces of advice we have all heard before:

  • You will only find the one and be happy if you are happy. So do what you like to make yourself happy.
  • No one will make you feel bad, unless you let them.

And they’re right. I have to do what I want to make myself happy.  Funny enough, I have introduced both of them before in my blog.  A and the BFBC.  All are great friends of mine and know me in and out. So I take what they have to say to heart. All of them are straight shooters with me and are loving friends. So I respect them all when they tell me things.

Including the fact I need to boost my confidence again. And I will.  How will I do this?  BFBC challenged me to write down five things I want to accomplish before the end of the year.  Life lists are wonderful, but I don’t think I could write everything I want to accomplish by the end of my life on one web page. So we’ll do is step-by-step.  Here are the five things I want to accomplish in 2010:

  1. Do something physical to push my limits.  Rock climbing class – scheduled! This is huge for me.  Once a klutz, always a klutz, so this is a big deal for me.  I am both nervous and scared, but in less than two weeks, I will overcome this fear.
  2. Take a wine tasting and/or cooking course.
  3. Pass my real estate sales license exam. Course is completed, test is scheduled for August.  And I need to get cracking on studying again.
  4. Complete my Stratejoy course.  I got all of the emails and package prior to BiSC, but now is the time for me to actually do it.
  5. Take a day trip, by myself, to a beach I’ve never been to before.  Planned for tomorrow IF the weather gets better.  I’m going to the grocery today to pick up stuff for snacks and sandwiches. Hopefully I can do it, but WBZ weather doesn’t look promising. If not, I plan to go next week. Second part of this – try the Quincy Farmer’s Market this Friday.  Again if the weather keeps up.
  6. Yes, I have a sixth, but I will discuss that later in this post.

So those are the five things I want to accomplish this year in order to make myself happier. Because it is true, if I’m happy and confident in myself, the rest, including my love life will fall into place. I truly believe that. And I always knew it deep down, I just needed someone to remind me of it.

What is the sixth item? I’ll tell you. But let me preface it with the fact that I truly believe in doing good for other causes. I always have and I always will. Two of my favorite people  this weekend made public two of my favorite causes.

  • LivitLuvit (check out my blogroll under “Awesomeness”) – Is in the race to become the first MTV TJ. If you haven’t voted for her yet – shame on you. She is awesome. And even though we’ve only chatted through through the interwebs and couldn’t quite achieve our goal of having a glass of wine together at BiSC, I knew she was one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. But why is she awesome? She is just as passionate about saving animals as I am. I’ve donated to the ASPCA monthly for years now (damn you Sarah McLachlan and your commercials) and I adopted my own furbaby two years ago from the wonderful Cape Ann Animal Aid shelter.  But she made it her mission to educate others on animal adoption and she got a LOT OF people talking about it this week. So follow her, vote for her, and just as important – #savethefurbabies.
  • I have a wonderful friend who I’ve known since our first semester in college.  She and I “followed” one another throughout college – same majors/minors, always had at least one class together/semester.  She and I also had two tragedies hit us both three months apart back in 2002. While I’ve always supported ACS, she took it 10 steps further and I am so proud of her.  She formed Team Good to Go for the Relay for Life years ago in Mass several years ago and when she moved out to LA, took it the left coast. I am so proud of her and promised her I will fly out every other year to be a part of it. I was there last year and I will be there again next year.  If you want to donate, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. NOW, to my #6. I want to meet and exceed my goal for the Jimmy Fund Walk.  If all of my IRL and/or blogger friend donated $5 or $10 each, I would do totally meet it. So help a sista out. Please.

I Have a Feeling You Could Be Good for Me

21 Apr

Pardon my rambling in this post.  Not sure where I’m trying to go with it….

Monday night was enlightening. S and I made last minute plans to hang out and watch the Bruins game (I know I know, but the Celtics and the Bruins are both in the playoff running, so I have no problem watching some game with him. Its fun – he gets so into it.)

Nothing big.  I came over, we watched the game, had a couple of drinks, played some Wii bowling, and talked a lot (mostly about sports and mundane things like how are days were.) And then it hit me. I realized why I’m playing it cautious with him – I don’t know much about him. Sure, we’ve only been dating 2+ weeks, but I don’t know that much about him.

So I asked him to tell me things about himself.  Who his best friend is, how close he is with his brother, mom, dad?  That opened up conversations about my dad, where I grew up and even vacations we’d like to take (yes, together. We’ll see if that ever comes to fruition…stay tuned.) Just “things” I wanted to know about him and feel are part of anyone’s makeup.  It was comforting – and easy. It made me feel closer to him. And I felt better.

This conversation may have made him feel more at ease with me as well.

Long story short, S has a very flexible schedule and is a nightowl (total opposite of me, where I have a set schedule and am a complete morning person), so he was a bit hyper when I started to get ready to leave.  It was kinda cute. But when I finally put my jacket back on, we ended up hugging for a little bit longer than usual.  Very sweet. All of the sudden he said:

“I have a feeling you could be good for me.”

And that made me smile. I said, “Maybe I am. Maybe we were meant to meet.”

No one has ever said anything like that to me. It just flowed. I felt, well…touched.  Still not sure what the outcome of our romance will be, so I will end this post the way I have ended others recently. I don’t know what it is about him, but I like this man.

When He Remembered the Clam Shack was Open

19 Apr

I’ve realized it is the little things that make a difference in a relationship.  Doing the big things are easy – it’s remembering the things you just mentioned in passing during a conversation that makes you realize, “maybe this guy is special.”

It is hard for me to put into words right now. Since S and I are still learning about one another. I still hope to learn more about him. I still want to know about his friends, his family, what he wants in the future. But I think that will come in time. Right now, we’re just having a lot of fun. And hopefully the Heat will win just one game, so he can take me to Game 5 of the playoffs (he asked, I accepted.)

But what he did on Friday night made me think about this post.  We made plans to hang at my place and watch the Sox (and yes, he already asked me if we could do a non-sports related date, which I am so psyched about!)  I sent him my address and the exit to get off at and asked him to call me when he got closer.  When he called – he told me that he got off at a totally diff exit and he’d be later than planned.

Seriously? Seriously? I texted the exit to him – how could he get it wrong?

Well, he didn’t. He was actually down the street from me at the Clam Shack and asked me what I wanted him to pick up for dinner. I mentioned the Clam Shack on our first date the week prior, just in passing. And he remembered. He totally freakin’ remembered! How cool is that?!?

Since then, he came over Sat night as well and asked me to go to Game 5 and brought up our non-sports date.  Like I said before, not sure where this is all going. And I wish I had something really introspective to write. But right now, I am just happy getting to know him.   The rest will come in time.

It Felt Weird

16 Apr

Last night I had my third day with S.  We went to a restaurant near him, ordered a couple of wraps (he likes sharing), had a couple of drinks, and watched the Bruins/Sabers game.  Boston lost by the way.

Anyway, when it started to get a bit crowded in the bar, he asked me if I wanted to go back to his place and watch the end of the game there.  Part of me thought it was too soon, part of me said – “Go Mel, go!  It’s not a big deal – you don’t have to do anything.”

Well of course, we didn’t make it out of the restaurant’s parking lot before making out (what? a little PDA never hurt anyone – besides no one else was in the parking lot at the time.) A few mins later, we ended up on his couch in a full-on make out session.

And then we curled up and took a nap.

And he said that I fit nicely there. And I told him I felt “weird.” Weird? Yes, weird. But a good weird, as in, this is feels normal and comfy and I don’t usually feel that way so soon in a relationship and that is weird to me.

He just smiled.  And started kissing me again.

I don’t know what it is about this man.  But I like him.