Tag Archives: Positivity

What I Want

2 Jun

OK, so recently I’ve talked about the positive aspects of girls weekends and the power of affirmations.  One of my greatest friends (yes, she is part of Girls Weekend) recently reminded me that in order to take the power back in finding my soulmate, I need to write everything down that I want/don’t want in my perfect love. I’ve done it before, so I figured, I need to re-visit/re-write this list. Again, what better place than here to put it out to the world.  So here goes:

What I Want/Deserve/Need:

  1. Someone I’m attracted to – Surfer Dude was perfection! We were attracted to each other on so many levels. It actually started off on an intellectual level (which I think was the best way), then evolved into emotional and physical levels.
  2. Someone who is caring – believes in volunteering and doing good in this world.
  3. Someone who wants to travel, try new restaurants, taking cooking class or golf lessons with me.
  4. Someone who believes in his job. He doesn’t need to make a six-figure salary, but he needs to be able to take care of himself monetarily and enjoy his work (i.e. don’t hate your job. We all have days, but hating your job and complaining about it on a regular basis – no, thank you. No bueno.)
  5. Someone who likes his family and spends time with them.
  6. Someone who has a close circle of friends. Who wants to bring me into that world and vice versa. I.e. I want him to accept my friends and want to become part of my world.
  7. No drama please. Surfer Dude was awesome and amazing in SO MANY WAYS, but he brought the drama. It was toxic. It was hurtful. It was totally unnecessary.
  8. Someone who can just chill – whether it’s laying in bed on a lazy Sunday or sit out on the back deck enjoying a sunset with a glass of wine in hand.
  9. Someone who accepts my somewhat crazy lifestyle.  I am emotionally close with my family, but not physically. It takes planes, trains, and automobiles to see them. I travel for work – and this is just a fact in my world.  But I’d want someone who would like to come with me when/if it is possible/appropriate.
  10. He has to like Ms. Bella.  Well he doesn’t have to love her like I do, but he has to accept we’re a package deal.
  11. He has to appreciate the finer things in life – and appreciate the fact I do as well. But still loves me on down days when I’m in workout gear cleaning the house and running errands.
  12. Someone who isn’t lazy – i.e. can clean up the house/after himself.  Being quiet and lazy is fun sometimes (see point 8), but it cannot be a lifestyle.
  13. Dress nicely – yes, superficial, but it’s needed sometimes in this world. At least I have a couple of suits to wear to weddings and shoes that aren’t just sneakers.
  14. Oh, and if he can cook, that’s a major plus.
  15. Romantic – even if it’s something like holding my hand in my public, giving me little kisses before bed, or something extravagant. I need romance (don’t most women!)
  16. Love me for me.  No one is perfect, but I need someone who can accept me for me.  Warts and all. But also looks for and expects the best out of me.

I’m sure there is more…I just need to think about it. But this is a good and important start! Now UNIVERSE, BRING HIM TO ME!

 

XO,

TiWID

A Song for Every Situation

31 May

I have Song Saturday always on my brain.  Why? I said it in my last post, I feel that there can be a song that captures every situation we’re in perfectly.  It can be fun, it can be sad, it can anything.

Every time I turn on my iPod, every song reminds me of a situation. Every one brings back a memory. Or it can invoke a feeling of something I want.  For instance, whenever I hear Zedd, I think of Surfer Dude, but whenever I hear Michael Buble’s song “Save the Last Dance“, I know some man is thinking of me when it comes to me. Or whenever I hear “Home“, I always think of the ones I’ve lost (actually, I specifically think of a friend I haven’t spoken to in years – someone who was my best friend, but treated me poorly.  I miss him, but I hope he learned something from our doomed friendship.)

Then there are the happy songs.  The ones that make you want to get up dance, go for a killer workout, or have a girls night out.  Basically, the ones that help you get into your groove. Hold on to those, hold on to them tightly. They are the ones that help you get through the tough times.  And make the better times even more awesome!

 

Why Girls Weekends are Important

26 May

I’ve been thinking a lot about why I decided to start my blog up again.  I know I’ve talked about it and I’ve been reflecting a lot on why I used to love writing so much. I write for a living – not in a traditional sense, but I work in the communications field, so I’m constantly writing and editing something. This blog provided me an outlet and a new way to hone my skills. Am I best the writer? Nope. But does this help me express myself? Absolutely.  Do I hope to turn this blog into something bigger? HELL YA! I’m just doing my research.

But I was thinking recently about two things:

  1. There is a song that can fit ANY situation – work, relationships, whatever…
  2. Girls time is SUPER important.

Last weekend, I went on my annual girls trip to the island with three of my friends for Wine Fest.  It’s our fourth year going together and every year, we have a ball. 😉  We drink, we eat, we shop, we just get really silly.  Basically, we put our cares away and always comment how “re-entry” back to the city and real life is tough.  I feel that it’s important we spend this time together since it allows us to just forget about some of our cares and just have a good time together. No muss, no stress, just some time away.  And a lot of laughs. And maybe one of us stumbles along the way. Hey, it happens.

8212441-two-wine-glasses-in-toasting-with-splash

And every year, I see my bartender.

Yes, my bartender.  He is my safe haven from the rest of the world.  We expect just to have fun – and cause a lot of trouble – together. He is part of the reason why re-entry is so tough. Do I expect more than just time together on the island? Nope. We’re on the same page when it comes to that aspect.

So I was thrown for a loop when we’ve texted a little since coming back. Again, it’s been minimal and I don’t expect much beyond a few texts, but it was nice to be wanted and thought of again.

I believe part of the reason why I’m attractive to him is because of my girls. Because when I go there, I am happy, I am having a blast, and I am my best self.  Happiness just exudes from me because of our friendship.  I truly believe that impacts how he sees me.

So why are girls weekends important? You can be yourself with them. You can laugh and be silly. You can be your best self. And that is super attractive.

 

 

 

Does the Three Day Rule Still Exist in Your 30s?

17 Apr

A few nights ago I went out on a date. And for the first time, I really liked the guy after the first date. I mean, I actually texted him once I got home to tell him how much I enjoyed the date. In my book that means I really had fun. He texted, said he wanted to see me again soon, but never set a date. So me being me, started to worry….

The next day, I didn’t hear from him, so I posted the following on Facebook: “Does the three day rule still exist in our 30s?” I had a feeling this would elicit a myriad of responses and it did! I captured them in three buckets: Helpful, Touching, and Comical. I also redacted details and contact information. Basically the consensus is the same –if a person wants to see you, he (or she) will make the effort. And no, the three day rule should not apply. What are your thoughts? Anything my friends missed?

Helpful

  • No rules anymore I’m afraid. However, the good thing is you can call. Bold.
  • Good things come to those who wait; things worthwhile are worth waiting for; if it’s meant to be it will happen…insert any other cliches here!!
  • I met BOY and left 2 days later for vacation for a week. Told him I would call him when I got back – so we didn’t speak until I came home. And I did call him when I got back. AND he cancelled our first real date because he was sick. I have never been happier. Wait or call him. Do what makes you happy and what you want someone to do for you. Loves. Xoxo (Oh should specify – after the 1st cancelled date we went out the following day and were/are inseparable.)
  • Every situation and person is different… I have total faith whatever happens is what is meant to happen.
  • I think if you want to talk to someone, you call them. If someone wants to talk to you, they call you. Simple. Try to relax and not overthink it. “Rules” are silly.What’s all this about phone calls? It’s all about the more personal methods like text, email, or FB these days… (Joking…)
  • No 3-day rule no call, you are still a child. Next!!!! Move on, you deserve much better. If you haven’t called I am wondering why it’s on him to make the call. Just curious.
  • Some days life gets busy and calls get forgotten, or it gets too late in the night, or you’re unsure if they want you to call, etc., etc. so in the end whoever wants to make the call should just make the call and see what happens, for all you know he’s waiting on you to call and wondering the exact same thing.

Touching

  • Based on the fact that I’ve been with the same girl for 20 years means I am completely out of touch and have no game. That said what’s changed since the mid 90’s? Nothing right?
  • I met this girl a long time ago. We hit it off immediately and hung out the entire night. At the end of the night I asked for her number. She said, no, let me get yours. At that point I thought I’d never hear from her again. She called the very next day and we went out on our first date that evening! We were inseparable from then on, and are still together, happily married to this day!
  • In my situation there were ZERO phone calls- we met and the next day he knocked on my door. It will be 16 years next month. It should be easy, effortless almost. That mutual feeling of just wanting to be with each other as much as possible.

Comical

  • Guys will always be guys. 3 day rule always applies. Have to keep em guessing!!
  • What’s the 3 day rule?
  • I was not single in my 30s but I would probably check in to make sure the girl got home alright the next morning. Or I would take her out to breakfast and talk about our future together.
  • Sorry – the 3 day rule exists at every age (I agree it’s dumb!). And HE should call YOU first… or at least call you back. lol!!
  • No, it does not. By the time we are in our 30s, a man is usually mature enough to avoid stupid games.

Interesting comments, right? My friends are actually incredibly intelligent and awesome. And the best, they come from all different walks of life!

OH – you may be wondering if he contacted me. We have our second date on Saturday – dinner and a comedy show. And he didn’t wait the full three days to contact me or ask me out. J Maybe he doesn’t know about the three-day rule himself… Hmmmm…
Stay tuned!

It’s Been a Long Time

16 Jan

Sorry it’s been so long. It hasn’t been for any reason other than the fact I haven’t had much to write.  A couple of men have come in and out of my life and I just haven’t had a lot to write on in that realm.

The good thing is – I’ve been able to focus on me.  Which I realized was the right thing to do. I spent 2011 working on cleaning out my life. Not the bad necessarily, but working on the things that no longer “worked for me.” I’m a different person than I was a year, two years, five years ago. I’ve changed in my 30s and realized new things about me and I’m comfortable with who I am. Finally!

I don’t make resolutions every year – I just try and better myself. Which is what I’ve been doing the past couple of weeks – cleaning out my closets, hanging out with my girls, planning my trips this year, and working on just being happy even if I’m alone on my couch watching bad TV.

Do you make resolutions? Are you comfortable with who you are? I hope so – because we all need to be comfortable and happy in our skin.

And yes, I do believe that if I’m super comfortable with me, the rest will fall into place.  2012 will be my year!

Is It Always Back & White – Part 2?

2 Nov

OK, so a lot has happened in the past week since I wrote my last post.  We texted and talked and he apologized for a jerky move. He had no excuse other than that he got caught up with his trip, which I understand. More than understand; I said I just wish he told me he couldn’t meet anymore.  He agreed.  But was happy I wasn’t  mad.  We’ve gone back and forth a lot since then. Including trying to schedule last minute drinks before he had to fly out, but the dating Gods were against us and he ended up flying out a day sooner b/c of a freak Nor’easter. BFF believes that this is someone’s way of intervening.  I have to agree. She is a smart cookie.

So as this unfolds, I am no longer going to overanalyze the situation. I am not going to try and force fit anything. I am just going to let it be. We talked about getting together once he’s settled into his new place in a few weeks. I told him I would take him on a tour of Beantown and that he would have to plan the evening after that. To which he said, he’s looking forward to making it a fun date night.

Let’s hope this time he makes good on that promise.

Why Lie On An Online Profile?

19 Oct

Sorry its been a few weeks since I last posted, but it has been a busy time in my life.  All good stuff and more to discuss later on, but right now I’ve been swirling a big question around in my brain: why do people lie when they post an online profile?

Random question, I know. But is it? Here’s why I ask. I went out with someone I met on eHarmony last night. He was someone I’ve been chatting and texting with from some time.  And last night, I was work a bit later than usual and he texted me.  After some back and forth, we decided to meet at a popular restaurant in a town close to both of us. I was looking forward to meeting him, even on short notice, because online, he seemed to be a good guy.  Cute, talkative/inquisitive, active, good head on shoulders.

But online profiles can be deceiving.  Yes, he was cute, yes he was talkative when prompted, and yes he was definitely active. However, it suddenly appeared to me why, during our previous correspondence, he avoided any work discussions. Basically, he had a really great job at a major computer company, but about a year ago decided to branch off on his own.  Good right? Yes, but he also said since he did that 10 months ago, he’s spent the last eight months on vacation. A little Peter Pan syndrome in not wanting to grow up – fine, I get it. Enjoy it if you can.

But the bigger thing that I noticed – and it may seem nitpicky, but go with me on it – is that he definitely was not as tall as he claimed he was on his online profile. And I have to ask “why is that?” Why lie about your height to a prospective girlfriend, when clearly it will come out. It makes me wonder, if you can lie about height and you can avoid your work discussion, what else are you hiding?  What else are you holding back on? For me, the date left me with more questions than answers.

Like I said, the superficial stuff may seem petty, but I do think it could lend itself to a larger issue in the end. We should all be proud of ourselves and our accomplishments and who we are.  Why mask it with even a little deceit on an online profile? It just makes me a bit leary about others who may be doing all the same.

The outcome of the night? Well, we ended on a positive note, a hug goodbye, and that was it. I don’t think I’ll hear from him again, but that’s fine.  That’s what dating is all about – meeting new people and having the faith that one day,  you’ll meet one of your soulmates.

I believe it will happen for me. And one day soon, maybe I’ll have some new updates for you on it.